Dime bar.

A friend put it brilliantly when she said 'women who have a baby seem to give birth to their brain too'. Never a truer word spoken. I have become, I'd say, pretty brain dead in the 12weeks since the birth of The Boss. I actually lost my ability to speak, sentences seemingly lost or bundled up somewhere between my brain and my mouth, coming out all messed up where I ended up sounding like a bit of a div. I'd never heard of that before. But then again, I don't think it'd be the thing to tell an expectant mother 'oh by the way, you'll probably become a complete gibbering wreck for about 3months after bubba is born'. That would send most women running for the hills. Or the nearest pub.
Last week I was dog tired from The Boss waking up every hour the night before and we were both a bit sniffly. The Boss wouldn't sleep in the day, at all. It was about 5.30 in the afternoon and I thought i'd get on the bed and maybe a nice snuggle would send her off.. Dear God, what was i thinking! She screamed and screamed and screamed again. So, I got up off the bed and thought we'd take a walk but somehow managed to put my foot in the carrycot which was amongst the organized chaos on the floor, which sent me flying through the air, with babe in arms. I managed to soften the blow with my pre-broken arm on a desk. Ouch.
Living in a flat with no storage seems to create more clutter.. Or is that having a baby?? But ok, I admit it. I'm a hoarder. Hate to throw anything away me, always thinking 'oo, that'll come in handy'. I take the bits of rope off bag handles (you know the posh ones), flatten sweet wrappers, smooth the wrapping paper from gifts easing off the sellotape from the corners, flatten cereal boxes for the card, save bits of broken jewelery, in fact anything that can be re-used i will re-use it. In my mind its all been for a valuable and very green reason. For my future children to create things with.. and at last all this stuff thats cluttering up my tiny little flat will actually come in handy and will be used up. Well, until i get another bag with ropes on it..

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New Life.. But Not as I know it..

Where do I start?? Its been a whirlwind, I've been in a bubble, my brain is mush, my baby is divine!
My goodness has it really been over 8weeks?? Thats just ridiculous.. The last 8 weeks have covered most bases emotional-wise.. I've smiled, laughed, cried, shouted, cried, wailed, giggled, cried some more and stared at the wonderment that is my little girl.. She is just perfect and it makes me cry just saying that.. At the moment anyway she is sleeping in her cot. Bloody hell, that is a mean feat. She has been sleeping in my bed since day one.. every night.
She weighed 7lb 1oz when she was pulled out of my tummy. Her temperature dropped immediately so she was wrapped in lots of hospital towels to keep her warm before she was given to me. She was howling too, like all babies do, but as soon I held her it stopped. Just like that. She stopped crying and opened those big eyes and looked at me. She was covered in vernix and all swollen from being in all that fluid for 9 whole months, but I loved her. Immediately. She just looked and started to become accustomed to life in this strange old world..
The decisions that we have to make as new parents are aplenty. We have so so many every single day. Do I follow a routine? should I stay in bed? When did I last have a shower? What should I eat? Drink? should I feed her now? Leave it a while? Does she need changing? Is that a poo? In fact what is that?! Is she tired? Blah blah blah..
You give birth to this little gift and the hospital just let you go. Without saying 'excuse me, where do you think you're going?" This is easy you think.. Thats the easy part. Back there. At the hospital. Its dead simple in there. Once you leave the hospital thats when the real work starts..
So, here begins life as an ecomum. Here life is very different from before. But i'm excited. In my weary, exhausted state I see excitement ahead, changes afoot and madness unfolding...

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